I read the post she made for our 35 days. I'm deeply touched by it. Yes, I would do anything to make the people I care for to feel better. Even if it means to spend all the money in my bank so that they can have a good time and I would have to suffer a few weeks with no money. And I would do a lot more for my babe. Defo a lot more.

Babe, right now, I'm not in good mood. After attending the wake, Ben's father's speech to us and a can of beer, I began to feel so emotional and I want to cry. But I feel uncomfortable crying. I want to cry with you. About what? About you, my grandfather and everything. But I need alcohol to remind me of the memory, the pain, the feelings and everything. Its all locked up in the box at the back of my mind. Only alcohol can open it. I'm fighting the urge to cry.. 

I don't want to ruin it and tell you now, cause you are having shark week and I will trouble you. I have trouble you enough. 

I love you, Joy. So much. And, 37 nights to our special night. 35 days to our first meet up. 3 days to our 4 months. Kissss!