The thing I always look forward to whenever we meet is the moment I lay my eyes on you for the first time in a long time. I try my best not to feel nervous, shy, or self-conscious, but whenever I see you, I feel like hiding - much like that day we decided to have a video call. I’m not sure why. Even though it also feels a little awkward being able to touch you, I love the tenderness of that moment.
Last Thursday we were able to meet again after two years and we have Foo Fighters to thank for that.
24 August 2017, Thursday
We decided to meet at 13:00 during your lunch hour at the Raffles Place mrt station. All the way from Tampines to Raffles Place, I felt extremely nervous. My thoughts were filled with what I should do once I see you; should I dramatically wrap my arms around your neck and kiss you? Should I give you a side hug? Should I cup your face with my hands and kiss you deeply? Honestly, I wanted to do the third option - kiss you like nobody's around, but instead, when I saw you, I tried to hide even though you already saw me. We hugged and that was that.
You brought me to a nearby hawker center and had me try wanton noodle. It was so delicious. Before leaving Manila, I told myself I would try different kinds of food this time instead of just biryani. After eating lunch, we walked around, holding hands just like the couples we’re envious of when we’re apart. We planned on meeting again later that day and spend more time together. You sent me off to the station, but before leaving we had a funny/awkward moment where we couldn’t decide if we should kiss good bye or not. Haha I gave you a pat on the chest and a “see you later.”
At 18:00, we met up at Bugis station. I wanted to redeem myself from the mediocre greeting we had earlier, so I gave you a peck on the lips which seemed like it caught you by surprise. Haha We walked around and spent some time alone. I can’t begin to express in words how amazing it felt to touch you - the warmth - the push and pull - the being held so tight it hurts.
25 August 2017, Friday
We had breakfast together with my brother at Nicoll Highway station. He wanted me to try the fish cake, rice, and sausage(?) meal which I enjoyed too! We talked for awhile before he had to leave for work.
You took me to Bugis where we walked around and you also showed me the Totoro photo that you wanted me to see. We made our way to the west. Every time we meet, I always look forward to taking the bus and train with you. I feel safe and I feel like squeezing your arms all the time.
You brought me to West Mall. We bought our tickets to Annabelle (sorry, but the coin decided it), went to the library, drank by the steps, and browsed some items around the mall. It seems like a very mundane thing to do, but it’s nice to know how that feels with you.
After watching the movie, we made our way to Seoul Garden in Marina Square and had dinner with Wini, Ruth, and kuya. I enjoyed spending time with everyone.
I apologize for my attitude when we were walking to Clark Quay.
While waiting for Kharthik and Subba at Crazy Elephant, I love how we can laugh at the same things and bicker now and then. How I wanted to take a video of you - the way you laugh - your hands - your gullibleness - your excitement when you hear a familiar song being played.. I wish I can always be there to see you talk and laugh.
Thank you for hailing a cab for me. You don’t know how sweet you are.
I’m sorry I left you to deal with what happened by yourself.
26 August 2017, Saturday
I spent half of the day with my brother and Ruth. I’m glad I spent more time with them. They took me to Giant mall and Ikea. Then we had lunch at Sankranti. My brother and I had chicken biryani. I didn’t realize how much I missed them. Weekends in Manila were usually spent with them and ever since they moved to a different city, it’s never the same.
We met at Kallang station around 15:00. For the first time, I arrived before you. We checked in the hotel before meeting your friends. I enjoyed watching you talk and drink with the guys. I was able to see a part of your life that I don’t get to see very often.
We saw the Foo Fighters perform at the National Stadium. It’s everything I imagined it would be watching with you. We were able to experience the concert individually - you joined in the mosh while I sang along. It didn’t feel like we needed to do the same things to enjoy the show, but we were there together and I appreciate that about us.
After the show, we hung out with CP and Raj. It felt nice to be able to talk with your friends and have meaningful and also light conversations with them.
We went back to the hotel a little later than we would have hoped. How I wish I could spend more time lying down with you, studying your face. There’s so much to see and so little time to feel. I wish for many things and one of them is more time with you.
27 August 2017, Sunday
We spend our morning tangled in each other, not wanting to leave or wake up from our 4-day dream. There we were again - the dreadful day of parting.
Thank you for coming with me to Tampines and to the airport, knowing your situation at home. I appreciate it greatly. I needed you and you were there. I can’t ask for anyone better to be with and share everything with.
Now we will say our goodbyes, just like any other time before. We kiss and we say our goodbyes and then we part and then we live our lives with a heavy but full heart. But there will come a time when we will be together to kiss and to say good night and to live our lives in a warm home with full hearts.
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