We Might Still Know Sorrow, but We've Got Better Days.

24 January 2014, Friday
Day 1

It has been over a year since we last saw each other. A lot of planning was involved in this trip mainly because it was my first time to travel to Singapore and also because my parents came along. In all honesty, I wanted to go alone, but for my parents' peace of mind, they went with me on this trip. I guess we have to adjust our sails from time to time. At least we still got to see each other.

A few days ago, you had just arrived from your Brunei training which means a short break follows. We grabbed this week long break of yours to meet up for the third time. My dad accompanied me and my mum to the airport. We boarded around 10 am and were scheduled to arrive Singapore around 2:30 pm. The plane ride was bitter sweet. I felt excited, yet sad. I guess knowing that we would part by the end of a trip will always draw out these two emotions from us. Nevertheless, my excitement over finally getting to see you outweighs my sadness (for now). When we landed, I thought the airport was world-class. The architecture and the straightforwardness of the signs was great. When we reached the immigration, I was a little nervous because I've heard stories about Filipinos being deported or held back. Luckily, nothing alarming happened to us.

My mum and I were already near the exit and she said to me, "I can see Shanky already", but I couldn't. I was searching for you and there you were; holding a large cup of hazelnut latte and your duffel bag. It was so strange and awkward at the same time. We only did a side hug because mum was there.

First Stop: Aljunied
While mum and I were having lunch, you went to get your phone. It took a little while, but I was enjoying watching people of different nationalities and ages which I rarely experience in Manila. Well, there are caucasian folks. When you got back, it was getting a bit late, so we took a cab to Orchard. While mum was by the reception area, we were in the building and it was the first time we hugged and you kissed my cheek. I felt so elated to be able to touch you and feel you.

We settled in the hotel and arranged our luggage before meeting your friends. I felt a little guilty for leaving mum by herself.

Haji Lane
We met your friends at Haji Lane where we shared a sheesha. I met Kathir and Suren followed by Raj and Thipa. It was wonderful hearing you talk to your friends in person and just being there beside you. Even though I can't understand most of what you guys were talking about, observing you and your friends is enjoyable to me.

After a few drinks, we all headed out and met Kharthik and Subaa. We walked around for a bit in an area called City Hall. The night was alive and there were a lot of people in the streets. We were talking to Kharthik and Subaa about meeting that week and having a double date. I'm not sure where the others disappeared to, but I remember talking to Subaa about Universal Studios and you talking to Kharthik about something so discreet. Before you know it, we were off somewhere else.

We got a bit lost going to our destination. When we reached there, they asked for identity which I couldn't provide because my driver's license wasn't enough proof. We went back to the hotel severely disappointed and frustrated, but it didn't matter because we were together. That night, we slept on the same bed next to each other.

25 January 2014, Saturday

Day 2

The three of us washed up and had breakfast on the second floor of the hotel. The food does not justify the price of the meal. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't good either. Mediocre food shouldn't be expensive.

Anyway, the itenerary was to go to Botanic Garden which mum thoroughly enjoyed. It is a massive garden filled with different kinds of trees, flowers, and plants. It was absolutely breathtaking. It's always a pleasure to be surrounded by nature. Mum bought tickets to the Orchid garden which was well worth the money.

After our little walk in the Botanic Garden, we went back to Orchard to have lunch. We ate at a place that specialises in soup, but we all ended up ordering a sandwich which I find particularly funny.

I have to admit that I'm not a fan of visiting malls when in a different country. Actually, I'm not fond of going to malls period. Unless I have to buy a present or something I need, I would go to the mall and spend a good hour and a half there, but to walk around without the intention of buying anything does not appeal to me. This explains my attitude that day. I am in no way justifying my awful attitude, and I feel absolutely terrible for losing my patience especially at my mum. I'm horrified at myself, still. I'm grateful to you for keeping me grounded and controlled.

We went back to the hotel, exhausted and sleepy. I remember taking a nap on the bed while you were sitting down on the chair using your phone. Then I woke up and you were taking a nap there, so I gently tapped your feet and made space for you and we took a nap on the bed together. We took a nap from 4pm to 7pm. We headed out for some alone time (I feel bad again), and this time I had sufficient proof of identity with me. We bought curry puffs which were delicious! We walked around for a bit and you told me about your Brunei training. You talked about how you and your other mates were braving the cold at night while it rained. I really enjoy listening to you talk and feeling you close to me. I'm sorry if I randomly touch your face or massage your head and neck when you talk. I wanted to feel you as much as possible.

26 January 2014, Sunday

Day 3

Today, we went to our respective place of worship. Mum and I went to Sunday mass which I slept through most of the time while you went to the temple. After prayers, we took a bus to Jurong East to meet Wini for lunch. On the bus ride there, I was fascinated by the organised traffic system and wished the Philippines or at least Manila would implement rules that they actually follow. 

When we reached the mall, we met Wini. We hugged each other like it wasn't the first time we were meeting. She took us to a Japanese restaurant called Sushi Express which has a conveyor belt sushi. The food was amazing. We walked around the mall for awhile, and mum bought clothes for dad. Wini had to go and meet her friends and so we said our good byes. 

Kuya requested for spices which led us to our third destination for the day which is Little India. The culture there was quite different. The crowd was quite dense because it was a weekend, but I still enjoyed holding hands together while you guided me through the people. After shopping for a few things, we had some snacks/supper outside. I really like hearing you talk in Tamil or Telugu or Singlish when speaking with another person. I find it extremely sexy and attractive. 

We went back to the hotel and rested for awhile. Grown Ups was on and we watched it for awhile before going back to Little India. Unfortunately, the place where you wanted me to try out their food was already closed when we reached there. Instead, we had  fresh roti prata and curry. I fell in love. We went back to Orchard and decided to watch Wolf of Wallstreet which I didn't and couldn't appreciate in the slightest. But before going in the cinema, we wandered around joking and checking out people. We tried to find a place where we can sit and drink, but instead, we found girlie bars. I remember you joked about it and I got upset. I'm sorry about that, love. I know you were only kidding, but I didn't take it very well. Anyway, the movie took so long to finish. It was all a cycle of destructive habits. My mum was already messaging me to go back to the hotel already since it was around 3 in the morning. After the movie, we walked back to the hotel and took our time despite my mum's message. I wish we could stay like that.

27 January 2014, Monday

Day 4

Hallelujah! My dad arrived today. Mum won't feel so lonely and left out anymore. We took the train to Changi to pick up dad and went to Newton after. They requested to eat at a hawker centre in Newton because they wanted to see if it was any different from when they visited years before. We ordered so much food; we had baby squid, kway teow, and popiah among others. I felt stuffed. We headed back to the hotel where I disposed my weapons of mass destruction in the bathroom. You followed after and you immediately came out with that half disgusted/half laughing look on your face. Apologies, sir.

We headed out and went to Clementi to meet Kharthik and Subaa for our double date. We ate at a restaurant called "Seoul Garden". It was a pleasant dinner and we enjoyed their company. We got to know more about each other and how they started dating. At awkward one point, you mentioned something about working hard in the bedroom and their faces were priceless. It was funny/embarrassing/awkward. We separated ways and headed back to Orchard. On our way back, we saw an elderly woman who seemed to be carrying heavy bags. We opened the door for her and you helped her carry her bags. She spoke to you in a language I couldn't understand, but she was smiling so I take it as a good sign. When we're together, I want us to keep an eye for people who need help even if it's as simple as opening the door for them. 

28 January, Tuesday

Day 5

Today was arguable the best day for us mainly because we had the whole day to ourselves alone. We had breakfast in or near Chinatown. The samosas were delicious. After breakfast, we parted ways with my parents. They went to Marina Bay and wandered around Chinatown to buy souvenirs while we went to other places.

Hindu Temple

Firstly, we visited a Hindu temple in Chinatown. It was an exciting and humbling experience. Thank you for allowing me to be witness a big part of your life and letting me participate in your prayers. I admire you and the rich traditions you practice. When we stepped inside the temple, I was in awe. I had never seen or experience any other places of worship besides the church and to enter another holy place especially with you was remarkable. Observing you go about your prayers and your practices made me fall in love with you more. I know we have different religions, but I seeing you and listening to you talk about the sacred figures that inhabit the temple was truly amazing.

Kinokuniya

The second place we went to is a large bookstore or another temple, but of books. It was overwhelming to see such a huge collection of books in one place. We went to our own genres of books and set a time for when to meet again. I remember you showing me a book about how to meet and become friends with other people, but there was something offensive about the book. We then led us to talking about judging other people. I think the book was about how to attract people when they judge you for your appearance and won't talk to you in the first place. Something along the line. 

Mint Museum

It took quite some time for us to find the toy museum but eventually we did. The Mint Museum is a magical place for people of all ages. I think it's a perfect place to have a date because you get to ask your partner about their childhood. Actually, simply observing which cartoons they react or respond to will allow you to get to know them better. For you, ever floor drew out a response from you especially Batman and Teddy from Mr. Bean. Every floor was a reminder of our childhood. When we were looking at the figures and the pictures of the vintage cartoons, I really wished we grew up together. I wanted to know how you were during your childhood years. I wondered if we would be friends. I wanted to see you in class and see how you interact with your classmates; see how you play and be by your side when someone said mean things to you. I wanted to know what it's like to be friends with you. 

Subway

Just as we promised, we had our late lunch in Subway. We both ordered a foot long of our choice with cookies and large drinks. It was oh so delicious. I really enjoy eating with you.

 We went back to Orchard and decided to watch another movie which was on me. Before the movie started, we went to the department store to check out bags for you and bras for me. On our way out, there were makeup samples, and I don't know which one of us started it but we ended up chasing each other with a finger covered in pink powder. Around 10 pm, we went to our seats and prepared for 12 Years A Slave. It was heartwarming and heavy at the same time. We walked back to the hotel and fell asleep.

29 January 2014, Wednesday

Last Day

What else is there to say about our last day together? We had breakfast at the hotel. I asked my parents if we could watch a movie before leaving and thankfully, they agreed. We went back to the room to get our luggages. We took our time walking to the cinema and talked all the way there. It was a little warm but we didn't mind. We watched Mood Indigo which was by far the strangest film I have ever seen. There was a sad part there, but I don't know if that was the reason why I started crying or if it's the thought of leaving you and being apart that made me deeply sad. I held your hand tight during the movie. I didn't want to leave. When the movie ended, we had to meet my parents at the train station. They were already there when we arrived, so we walked and took the train to the airport. We were talking about you making me angry so I wouldn't feel sad, but it didn't work. I was holding back my tears even when we were only checking in. Every minute that passes, the distance between us grows and I just can't have that.

There was nowhere for us to sit, so my parents decided to have lunch at a restaurant in the airport. We also walked to an open space where you can see the aeroplanes and there wasted time until it was nearly time to board.

My dad wanted to be at the gates early, but I asked them if I could stay a bit longer and that I'll just follow. They warned me about coming late, but I assured them that I will make it in time. They said their good byes to you and left us alone. For the longest time, we embraced each other tight. I buried my face on your chest and cried without shame. As we hugged, I already missed you. I thought parting was something we get used to after a few times, but I don't think anyone ever gets used to being separated from someone they care and love repeatedly. After we've calmed down a little, there was still time left. We saw a picture ID booth and stepped inside to get ourselves a souvenir. Shortly after that, it was time. It was painful walking towards the exit sign. I remember turning back from time to time and being met by your embrace. But I had to leave. I passed through the immigration and looked back at you. You were still there. I wanted to go back even though I hear them calling my flight number and I knew I had to run. I wish I didn't have to leave.