Tired but staying strong

Shanky has been in field camp since last Friday. He might come back home this Friday or Saturday.

He already told me before that it might take us a year before we can see each other again. In in that one year, he will be in field camps more often than not. I'll be honest, I'm emotionally tired. When I say tired, I don't mean 'fed up' or 'I'm sick of this' - more like when your muscles are sore but translate it to feelings. That kind of tired. I'm tired of missing him and I just want us to be together but I know right now it's not possible and I understand. I think about the nights we were together. Lying on the bed, watching television and I'm resting my head on his chest. Or waking up in the middle of the night and seeing that he's right beside me. I can move closer and hug him. I'm not sure if remembering all these things make me happy or sad. Maybe both at the same time.

One year. This is hard for the both of us and it hurts to be far away from someone you want to hold close to you all the time. But I won't give up on us because I see clearly how important he is in my life and I don't want to lose him to realize that. I love him very much and I can't express enough how much  I do. It's impossible.

For our future together and our children, I will stay strong.