Dearest Shankara,
When I held you in my arms that Saturday night/Sunday morning, drunk and crying, I felt the need to pull you closer and tighter to me. I wanted you to feel that I was there and that I will never let you go. I have never cried with another person, feeling their pain. And that night, I felt yours. Don't push me away, love. I'm here for you and I will never leave you (I might, temporarily because of sleep hehe). You say you don't want to cause me pain but what can you do if I want to know and feel what worries you. I want to experience all your emotions with you. And no, babe. You didn't spoil the mood. You never do. In fact, I love your honesty when you're drunk and crying. I just wish I could right the wrongs that was done to you so you wouldn't have to suffer so much. But I can't do that. I also can't save you from yourself, I can try but in the end, you are your own savior. I can only love you unconditionally.
You say you don't deserve to be happy because other people suffer more than you. I know it is unfair but we have to accept it and then maybe we can do something about it. You deserve more than you think you do. You're a wonderful, wonderful, good hearted person, love. I wish you can see what I see. Don't beat yourself up for your failures and thus thinking you're not good enough. What is good enough? You say nothing you do is ever good enough for your parents. Maybe it is time to do or be something that is good enough for you. You are good enough. You are capable of so much. Don't you ever forget that.
In moments of weakness, please, please know that I am always here for you, Shankara. Always. In moments of joy, I'm also here. I will keep you happy and from now on you will always feel loved and appreciated because you deserve these things.
I love you so much. You don't know how much I miss you.
Your sleepy girl,
Joyjoy
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